Friendships are supposed to be a source of support, love, and fun. But sometimes, we find ourselves in relationships that don’t feel so balanced. Have you ever left a hangout with a friend feeling drained or disrespected? I know I have, and it wasn’t until much later that I realized the relationship wasn’t as healthy as I thought. If you’re wondering whether your friend respects you, here are some telltale signs that they might not—and what you can do about it.
1. They Don’t Value Your Time
One of the clearest signs that a friend doesn’t respect you is if they consistently don’t value your time. I once had a friend who would always cancel last-minute or show up late to our plans. At first, I made excuses for them—maybe they were just busy, or maybe I was overthinking it. But after months of being left waiting around, it became obvious: they didn’t respect my time.
They’re Always Late or Flaky
If your friend frequently cancels plans, arrives late without an apology, or never seems to prioritize spending time with you, it might be a sign that they don’t respect your schedule. This can make you feel like your time isn’t important to them, and that’s not okay.
Tip: Don’t be afraid to address this with your friend. Let them know how their behavior makes you feel. If they continue to disregard your time, it might be time to rethink the friendship.
2. They Don’t Listen to You
Respect in a friendship also comes down to how much your friend listens and engages with you. I once noticed that every time I was trying to talk about something important, my friend would either interrupt, change the subject, or just not seem interested. It felt like my thoughts and feelings weren’t worth their attention.
They Constantly Interrupt or Talk Over You
If your friend never lets you finish a sentence or always shifts the conversation back to themselves, they might not be respecting your voice. This can make you feel unimportant, like what you have to say doesn’t matter.
Tip: Next time this happens, gently point it out. You can say something like, “Hey, I wasn’t finished talking. Could you let me finish my thought?” A respectful friend will listen and adjust their behavior.
3. They Dismiss Your Feelings
I remember one time I opened up to a friend about something that was really bothering me, and instead of listening, they brushed it off with, “You’re overreacting,” or “It’s not that big of a deal.” At that moment, I felt so invalidated. A friend who dismisses your feelings isn’t showing you the respect you deserve.
They Make You Feel Like You’re Overreacting
If your friend constantly downplays your emotions or makes you feel like your concerns are trivial, they aren’t respecting your feelings. It’s important to feel heard and validated in any relationship, and if that’s not happening, it’s a red flag.
Tip: Try to express how this makes you feel. If they continue to dismiss your emotions, you may need to reevaluate how much you’re investing in this friendship.
4. They Only Reach Out When They Need Something
Have you ever noticed that certain friends only seem to text or call when they need a favor? I had a friend who was always asking for rides, borrowing things, or needing help with something, but when it came to just hanging out or checking in, they were nowhere to be found. It made me feel used, like our friendship was more transactional than meaningful.
They Don’t Invest in the Friendship
Friendships should be a two-way street. If your friend only contacts you when they need something, it might be a sign they don’t respect you as an equal in the relationship. It can leave you feeling like they’re taking advantage of your kindness.
Tip: It’s okay to set boundaries. If you notice this pattern, try saying “no” occasionally and see how they react. A true friend will respect your boundaries and want to spend time with you for more than just favors.
5. They Put You Down
This is one of the more obvious signs, but it’s important to address. A friend who constantly puts you down, whether it’s through teasing, backhanded compliments, or outright criticism, isn’t respecting you. I had a friend who would always make “jokes” about my appearance or abilities, and while I laughed it off at first, it eventually started to affect my confidence.
They Make You Feel Bad About Yourself
If you leave interactions with a friend feeling worse about yourself than when you arrived, that’s a major red flag. Friends should lift each other up, not tear each other down. Even if they claim it’s all in good fun, consistent negative comments aren’t okay.
Tip: Stand up for yourself. Let your friend know how their comments make you feel. If they’re unwilling to change their behavior, it might be time to distance yourself from the negativity.
6. They Don’t Respect Your Boundaries
A healthy friendship is built on mutual respect, and that includes respecting each other’s boundaries. I had a friend who would always push me to do things I wasn’t comfortable with, whether it was staying out late when I had work the next day or prying into personal topics I didn’t want to discuss.
They Push You Beyond Your Limits
If your friend constantly ignores your boundaries or pressures you into situations that make you uncomfortable, they aren’t showing you the respect you deserve. This can make you feel like your needs aren’t important to them.
Tip: Be firm about your boundaries and communicate them clearly. A good friend will respect your limits without question.
7. They Don’t Support You
Friendships should be built on mutual support and encouragement. If your friend isn’t there for you during tough times, or worse, if they seem indifferent to your successes, it could be a sign that they don’t respect or care about your well-being.
They Don’t Celebrate Your Wins or Offer Comfort
A true friend will celebrate your successes with you and offer comfort during difficult times. If your friend seems uninterested or even jealous when something good happens to you, it might be time to question how much they really value the friendship.
Tip: Take note of how they respond to your highs and lows. If they’re only there for the fun times but disappear when things get tough, that’s not real respect.
Conclusion: Is It Time to Reevaluate the Friendship?
It can be tough to face the fact that a friend might not be treating you with the respect you deserve. But recognizing the signs is the first step toward making a change. Friendships should make you feel valued, supported, and loved—not disrespected or undervalued. If you’ve noticed any of these signs in your own friendships, it might be time to have a serious conversation with your friend or consider moving on from the relationship altogether.
Remember, you deserve friends who respect you as much as you respect them. Don’t settle for less!